Work Advice: My boss yelled when I stopped bragging about his election


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Reader: When he was in the middle of a diatribe about the election, I told him to “take a breather,” prompting my employer to scream loudly. They told me I had no right to control how they expressed themselves and that I wouldn’t get very far in life if I couldn’t stand them yelling at me. He didn’t ask me if he could vent, and I didn’t ask him what he thought.

I don’t think I’m wrong in wanting a workspace without yelling, and I think I should apologize. what do you think

carla: No, it’s not ridiculous to want a noise-free work environment. But like the famous Norman Rockwell portrait of a family having Thanksgiving dinner, it’s an ideal that doesn’t always reflect reality.

There is a pervasive belief in some industries that getting ahead means absorbing years of abuse without questions or protests – that tears come from success and tantrums are undiscovered gems of frustrated genius. This mindset leads to billionaire CEOs cutting back half their workforce, firing anyone who objects, and sending remaining employees to long, sinking ships or three-month severance pay. Offer high intensity hours to choose from. The people who stick around are the really dedicated, “hardcore” employees who are compelled by a drive to succeed. (As opposed to being forced out by poverty or the threat of deportation.)

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In contrast, during the “Great Resignation,” thousands of employees discovered a new roadmap to success: being able to recognize and walk away from abusive situations. With unemployment still at record levels, many employers find honey better than vinegar in attracting talent. Empathy, respect and emotional intelligence are characteristics of leaders that people enjoy working for.

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All this is to say that your boss’s phrase ‘if you can’t handle my boasting, you’ll never get far’ can be smelled.

While it’s true you won’t get very far trying to teach your boss those skills – “take a deep breath” with “just calm down” and “throw water on an oil fire” in the case of unsuccessful dismantling tactics. grades — which doesn’t mean you have to stand there and endure a high-decibel fiasco.

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“This is too stressful for me to hear. I have to go,” said in a neutral tone during withdrawal, is an effective approach. Further exploration by them on that point is aggression; only then can you call them HR. let’s chase you till office, security desk or group of witnesses.

When things have calmed down and all parties seem stable, it’s time for the debrief: “I respect your right to have opinions and feelings about current events – I know I have – but if we don’t, I would rather not discuss them at work. Everyone has different points of view and I don’t want to be in the position of disagreeing or arguing with my boss, especially if it will affect our working relationship. If you’re willing to add some spice to the honey adding, “I don’t appreciate being yelled at, especially when it’s not even a work issue.”

A truly professional, respectful boss who sometimes loses track will respect your opinion and may even apologize for being a burden to you. If they’re the thin-skinned type who see any relapse as an attempt to take control – because “control or be controlled” is the only form of conversation they understand – you may be out of a job. If you suspect the latter scenario is possible, you may want to have a private conversation with HR to voice your concerns before speaking to your boss.

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By the way, following up is optional. It’s okay to decide that the collision isn’t worth the risk to you, or that the incident was a rare seasonal event, and that future risk can be managed or avoided by planning to have it elsewhere during the next election season.




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